[vc_row content_placement=”top”][vc_column][vc_custom_heading source=”post_title” font_container=”tag:h1|text_align:left|color:%231e73be” use_theme_fonts=”yes”][vc_custom_heading text=”By Stephen Carp, PT, PhD” font_container=”tag:h4|text_align:left|color:%23000000″ use_theme_fonts=”yes” css=”.vc_custom_1695155225447{padding-bottom: 30px !important;}”][vc_column_text]Download the article (pdf)[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]Quietly I rest, but solitude closes in.
No noise is noisier than no noise at all.
I’m fading, blanched white by illness, paled by age,
The gray of desolation, the darker gray of destitution.
I am not pretty anymore.

Cruel memories arise of times when I silenced
the children: “I want to rest, let me be! I want
to read, let me be!” Now I long for a touch, a word.
No one is here.
I am not pretty anymore.

My children have moved away. Their kids have kids.
My friends have died. I’m too ill for church.
I’m an anachronism. And I am alone.
No one to call.
I am not pretty anymore.

Morning comes and my body awakens.
My eyes open from habit. Nothing to see here.
A nurse enters the room and lightens my spirits.
She smiles. She speaks my name. She cares,
Though I am not pretty anymore.

Quizzically, she looks at my face, my eyes, my hair.
Hands on her hips. She comes to the bedside,
Tenderly, kindly.
I am not pretty anymore.

Her hand on my forehead is soft as cotton.
Quietly, deftly, she sweeps a stray curl from my eyes.
“There,” she says. “That’s a start.
Let me comb your hair. Let me put a little makeup on.
I have time to share.”
I am not pretty anymore.

I say not a word. I close my eyes and feel her work.
Her fingers in my hair are my husband’s, sixty years ago.
Her fingers on my face are my baby’s, fifty years ago.
Her perfume is my daughter’s, thirty years ago.
I am not pretty anymore.

I say not a word. The memories are so strong,
so lovely, a tear comes to my eye.
“Am I pulling your hair?” she asks, noticing.
“No, no. Continue.” I will cherish this kindness.
I am pretty again.
I am pretty again.

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